Light Relief

Billion Dollar Experiments

Phew! I’m not sure about you, but for a moment today I was a little nervous that the entire planet was going to suddenly be reduced to a bunch of floating particles hovering over the hazy and smug air of what was supposed to be the world’s most impressive science experiment.

Can you imagine? Trying to replicate the big bang theory is quite an ambitious plan. These scientists have been planning this for a decade. They have spent close to ten billion dollars!! Now it may not seem a lot compared to the 200 billion dollar debt owed by African countries, but hey, who’s counting? For the same price you could build about 6 clean power plants to bring energy to impoverished people. Hell, you could eradicate the entire poverty problem, or health crisis of an medium sized country.

But no! These geniuses have decided a while ago that we should try and find the source of the universe and how it all started. The rather clumsy looking structure they built is basically a big pipe where beams fly around at speeds that are a tad faster than the dissappearance of Enron’s financials. Pretty fast hey! Anyway, the simple truth is that I know nothing about this experiment, but what I do know is that when they did the test today, the result was about as impressive as my first sexual experience. It was in low light, with very few noises and over pretty quickly! Come to think of it, the satisfaction on the faces of the sicentists afterwards, was not to dissimilar to mine on that fateful night of my deflowering.

I just think that if we are going to spend 10 billion dollars, let’s do it with a real bang. Let’s cure cancer. Let’s rid ourselves of HIV. Let’s put a huge dent into poverty. Or even, let’s blow something up, that will at least let us say, f…! that’s a huge explosion.

All I can say is if the next bunch of scientists sitting in a room somwhere are planning their next decade long experiment that will bankrupt even the most financially sound countries, please, for goodness sake, get a life. Find the joy of not knowing everything. Embrace the unknown, and and learn that the universe lives within you. It is not out there. It cannot be found. It is not a thing. You cannot own it. It is infinite. Just like this piece…..

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As a columnist and speaker I have been able to connect with so many interesting people who have experienced wonderful adventures in life. I am fascinated with the limitless power of people and try to reflect my own experiences and thoughts through these pages.

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