Career Advice

You Can Choose Anything….Well Sort of.

choicesSitting on the back end of a long holiday you can’t help but think forward to how your life will soon change, and rather briskly I might add, to getting on with a lot of doing stuff, when for the past few weeks, you most likely had lots of time doing nothing. Now if you’re like my mother-in-law, and I pray for your sake you are not, then pretty much by the first minute of any leisure time, you would be reminding all us all that time passes by quickly and that before we know it, life will be back to the normal head-spinning churn of school, diets and logistics that would have tested even the most decorated military field Marshalls. Thankfully you are not my mother in law! You can now relax and sit back, absorbing what is about to be some words of practical wisdom. And what’s more, it’s free! I clearly remember a poem by a person whose name escapes me, but it’s likely to be double barrelled and sound Victorian, Edwardian or even Georgian. It sort of rhymed and it spoke of a time to do just about everything. “A time to live and a time to die, a time to laugh and a time to cry…” You get the picture, right? I wonder what the more modern version of this might be. For kids it would be something like, “a time to X-box and a time to Wii, a time for Mixit and my PSP.” For us, the apparently older type, our days would be better described as, “a time to rush, and a time to rush more, a time to panic and time to wonder how the hek my life ended up being so hopelessly hectic.” It just seems we have no more time to ourselves. Or at best, we have inches of time for ourselves, but it’s probably spent looking into mirrors and wondering where all the time went. But apparently there is an answer to the big question of how to be more balanced in your life. And it’s called “being selfish.” No, really! Stay with me on this one. I think there could be merit in this approach. You see, for years you’ve been told things like, “Barney, says sharing is caring.” And where has that got you? Everyone else first right? Have you ever wondered why you are missing out on life’s gems? Okay, I thought so. But, here we sit believing that there is something better we could be doing or achieving and yet we’re stuck in a rut, thinking we have no time to get on with what we really want to do. But imagine being a little more selfish. And I mean in all the right places. I’m not talking about “FOMO” selfishness here. ‘FOMO’s” are people with a fear of missing out. These people will jump queues, interrupt conversations and generally be so obnoxious that you want to punch them in the face. But sadly, we’re the caring type, so we don’t. And to our detriment I might add. So we’ve established that you get “FOMO’s”, and you get “us!” That leaves a group of people that are clearly getting it all right. They seem to get what they want, lead balanced lives and walk around with smiles on their dials that come straight out of toothpaste ads. But I think we may be on to them. You see, long ago in the olden days when man had to pretty much do everything for herself, she realised that the more she did, the more she ran out of time. And so, a very simple, but powerful secret was uncovered. It’s a secret that has been lost to many of us, until now. And it goes like this. “You can do anything. But you can’t do everything.” And that my friends, is where selfish choice was born. It is the realisation that you can choose what you want to do for your own good and that you simply would never be able to get everything done, so relax. You can choose to carry on reading, or get up and go and feed your face. You could knuckle down and work, or get up and go watch a movie. You always have the right to choose. Even when you think you have no choice, you have just made your first choice. So now, all you need to learn is, to choose what you do wisely.



  • You have to choose what you want to do. Remember you can’t do everything.
  • Choose wisely. Make sure it fits your needs, your values, and your best interests.
  • Anything that falls outside of this should be handed over to someone else.
  • Negotiate with people so that their expectations of you are realistic.
  • When you choose what you will do (anything but not everything), make your target goals small.
  • Succeeding in small tasks, keeps the energy up for the bigger goals.
  • Remember to look after yourself. Without you, no-one can benefit.

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As a columnist and speaker I have been able to connect with so many interesting people who have experienced wonderful adventures in life. I am fascinated with the limitless power of people and try to reflect my own experiences and thoughts through these pages.

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